Big dots + laziness

In fact right now i'm supposed to be studying like everyone else in this campus-ok,ok..like most of them,no generalization-..But i dont..Do not dare to ask me please whether i feel regret about it or not..Of course i feel regret,but unfortunately even the regret and my conscience do not help.Right now, i'm listening to Pink Floyd,"Another Brick in the Wall".Before this song i was listening to "Wish you were here" and "Shine on you crazy diamond"..I really like those songs..However i do not have a good collection of their songs yet.(I will be happy if anyone can send some of their songs to me, to my gmail. ozsoy.tugce@gmail.com)..

Today, i woke up around 11.30ish..I wish i could manage to wake up earlier,maybe then i would find the inner voice of my conscience which bugs me for studying:)hehe..anyways..Noone can expect me to wake up at 9 or 10am when i could not sleep the previous night..My mum called me after i woke up..Yes it was nice to talk to her, until i told her about my insomnia. She told me it could be most probably because i was getting stressed about exams and studying..BULLSHIT! The classes and exams are two last things i will bother to stress myself about now.I explained to her that i was not stressed about my classes and blabla..Then she started asking me about what i was worrying and stressing myself. Of course i did not answer her, although she started listing many reasons.I said "no" to all of them, and then i confessed her that i was gonna say "no" to whatever she might be saying anyways. I just dont wanna bother her,plus no matter how nice and understanding person she is, she would not understand. unfortunately once young people grow up and reach to adulthood, they always forget their youth and childhood, and start seeing all the other problems as unimportant..To be honest,i dont really know what exactly it is , which makes me get insomnia..Sometimes i get angry over everything.My mother had this saying;" fighting with your shit"..yes..those nonsense angry moments i can fight with my shit..:)

Well..yesterday night,i went to visit one of my friends, but she sounded depressed,and i am not a good person sometimes to listen to depressing things..The more you talk about depressing stuff,the more i get depressed..but if you start talking about completely random and stupid thing,that helps..then i can forget..And then i eventually left that room and went to another friend of mine..What i need was in fact, just to put my head on one of my friend's legs(these people are girls btw:) )and then talk to them about stupid things..One of them sounded depressed and looked small to do it(i would feel scared to hurt with my heaviness), the other one was about to go to bed-she looks smaller then me physically as well,but she has this attitude and style that you cant really think she is smaller than you at all-, and the last one i could probably go..i did not try it because she most probably would not be in her room and i really did not want to bother anyone..
Yes,i confess..yesterday night i was selfish..but i really needed it..Which one should i prioritize more? my responsibilities for myself, or my responsibilities towards other people to make them feel nice..i do not know the answer, and there comes the problem..
A N Y W A Y S !! Yeey, now i can excuse myself for half an hour from studying-which i dont do- because of writing my blog:)

p.s: the picture is from thanksgiving break.