Today..

I was talking to a friend from here today..or maybe i should say yesterday..yeah, that would be more appropriate and we were talking about relations, boy and girl attraction, asshole guys,asshole girls (i guess i m one of them, not sure..maybe i m just a bit.. ), etc..
And when we were talking about this, she told me that the one who makes the otherside suffer, wins..in love terms...what kind of a strange world are we living in? i mean, what kinda pleasure do we get from this animalistic behaviour..we are not like lions which trick the others for the meal, and then feel strong and nice (litterally wins) by making the other one suffer..-actually dead-. i dont get this..or maybe i m still to naive..
What is even worse is, i m in this game too..i follow that stupid, animalistic game too..just like everyone..Why?
The reason is simple..because when you try to show a bit of sth to others, you fail..simply you fail..you loose the game from the beginning..So are we supposed to run away or not do anything even though we feel like following the instinct? i dont know.
A really special person, once told me that i always should reveal and show what i want and make the other one see it..But, if i do, i lose..i experienced it, i learnt it..
Is this world only consist of suffering and making the other suffer? Am i the only one who thinks it is fucked up?
I mean, yeah i m playing this game too, and it is not only me..it s all of us..but why should we?
Before, i never believed in horoscope signs this much.But i seriously started believing in them especially when i look for the matches of my sign with other signs..it is seriously, incredibly true.i dont know if they are just making them up from their asses, but it works..dont know..maybe it s just me..
Other than that, today i chatted,actually met again with one of my friends from 5 th grade primary school.I havent talked to her for 10 years..at all..havent even met her randomly on the way.and she was my best buddy in the primary school when i moved from the town to the city. She found my email from somewhere,and she just wrote me, "tell me, what kind of person have you become? who are you now? how was i when i was a 10-year-old child? i want to know..".. she firstly sent an email,months ago which i just found in my big inbox.and it was like this:(firstly turkish then i ll translate it.
"">eskilerden bi selam,
> ilkokul yillarindan hani,
> aksamlari babanin elleriyle cevizli incir yedirdigi zamanlar bize..
> hircin kucuk kardes,adasim anne,
> seni bi zaman diliminde 'en' leri arasina koymus minik bi kiz henuz "biz
> " olmadigimiz gunlerdeki...
>
> umarim gorusuruz...
> cunku o zamanlar her ne kadar biz biz deildiysek de olmaktaydik..
> onemliydin bunu hatirliyorum.
>
> ho?çakal..""
Translation:"
Hi from some old times,
One of those from primary school years,
Fromt the times where your father used to prepare figs filled with walnuts to us,
Aggressive sister, same named mother,
From a person who gave you one of the superlatives at some point of her life.From one of those days which we werent "WE" yet..
Hope we can meet..
Because maybe we were not what we are that time, but we were becoming..
You were important.That s what i remember.
Good bye. "
Dont you think it s amazingly cute?
we talked for hours and hours chatting on MSN..since it is the only connection i have for old friends.
Is it ironic?
and love..again..why am i thinking of it so much lately?i dont want to...