Tuğçe or Tugce?

Well,why did i write a stupid title like this? The first one is the right spelling,which is in Turkish and the second one is the englishized version of my name..So what?
Well well..The different spellings of my name explains the seperation and the dilemma on my soul i guess.Do i still belong to my home, or do i just get used to the place i live more than 1 week and just feel belong to that place? I dont really know the answer.I think,this is the cost of being a wanderer.
It is only 1 more day left for me for returning back to Richmond..Am i happy about that?
Not really..Because my habit or custom monster woke up again, and got used to living in this place with my mum,or in an area where i can speak my language. On the other hand, although my heart feels a bit broken, i know that after 1month or sth, i will get used to being in Richmond again.
Yesterday, i went to Didim,which is a summer place and a summer,historical town of Aydin.Today morning, i tried to wake up a bit early and went for a walk along the coast.I walked on the rocks,and then on the dock.Looked at the water carefully in order to compare the Flekke Fjord and Didim.Looked to see how many similar sea animals they both hide,grow and feed in their body.
I realised,there are a lot of things i adopted because i lived in Flekke.And R.,he used to think i was a city and a cafe girl,and today morning,it was proved that i was not..On the other hand, my mum's friend's son was complaining about cold etc.I had a flashback to Flekke again,and remembered that i wouldnt like these kind of people anymore..I dont know why, but Didim trip showed me that..
Plus, my mum's friend's son was getting a lot of sms,while i didnt get anything at all..Not that i cared about it or sth, but when i was watching these happening there was only one song in the back of my head.."Wasting Love" by Iron Maiden..
The first picture is Didim,and the second one is Flekke.

Here is the Turkish version..
Buket Uzuner'in Iki Yesil Su Samuru adli kitabindan da alinti olarak, Aliskanlik Canavari'na ithaf edicem ben bu yazimi..Aliskanlik canavarini uyandirmamak gerekir diyordu mike kitapta Nilsu'ya...Benim aliskanlik canavarim ya yalama oldu,ya da daha buyumek ve daha erdemli bir hale gelmek icin zamani var..Tam olarak hangisi kestiremiyorum henuz.
Benim aliskanlik canavarim cok erken uyaniyor..Ben bundan 3hafta once,Richmond'da odamda buraya gelmenin benim icin cok da birsey ifade etmedigini,her halikarda mutsuz oldugumu soyluyordum.Evet belki hala daha o kadar mutlu oldugum soylenemez ama,yine de en azindan kendi ulkemde olmak,kendi dilimi konusmak,bildigim topraklarda olmak icime garip bir huzur veriyor..Hayir, kendimi buraya da ait hissetmiyorum tam olarak,ama buraya kolayca alisabiliyorum denilebilir saniyorsam.
Didim Mavisehir'e gittik dun..Dusundum cok fazla..Sabah erken kalktim elimden geldigince bugun ve sahil boyunca yurudum,kulagimda kulaklarimla muzik dinlerken.Dusundum bir yandan elimde firindan yeni cikmis ekmegi tasirken.Kayaliklarin uzerinde yurudum,tek basima iskelenin uzerine ciktim,suya baktim..Ne kadar temiz olduguna ve icinde neler sakladigina..Norvec'e ne kadar benziyor acaba diye dusunerek,aklimca kiyaslamalar yaptim.Sonra gazeteleri de alip geri dondum.Evet soguktu belki hava,ruzgarliydi,ama umrumda degildi..Norvec'te bunlara ne kadar alismis oldugumu dusunup,gulumsedim kendime,yada kafa salladim kendimce..Bilmiyorum.
Sonra, annemin arkadasinin oglunun cebi gece boyunca caldi gelen smsleri bildirmek icin.Ben kiskandim mi bilmiyorum.Benim aklimdan gecen tek bir sarki vardi o sirada..Iron Maiden, "Wasting Love"..Dusundum askin aslinda ne kadar da cok harcandigini..Benim ne cope atmaya kiyacak ne de sadece kendi egomu tatmin edebilecegim bir askim oldugunu dusundum..Ve Wasting Love'i birkac kez dinlemeye daha karar verdim..
Ilk resim Didim,ikincisi Flekke,Norvec.