I know that i can get pretty weird sometimes..And i guess this is one of those times again..when i was taking a shower just about half an hour ago i was thinking that, if we were all entitled for some certain amounts of happiness, sadness,fear etc..For example, is there sth like, you get so happy and sad at the early episodes of your life and then you have to be numb and neutral in terms of emotions for the rest of your life..
Or for instance, i remember quite clearly believing that if i have so much fun and get happy then it means i will get some sadness or disappointment later in order to balance the happiness, so that i ll be neutral again..
Or, do you have the privilege to say, "ok let me be sad, bored, disappointed,fucked up in the first half of my life, so that i can live the rest in comfort and happiness?"..dont think so..But then why do i have this neutrality obsession? maybe it is the extension of the symmetry disease on behaviours and feelings too..
Maybe someone will come and tell me if i would like some fucked-up-ness..And my answer will be, "Yes,please..i should save the previous amount i have"..I know, i know..I should go and wash my face or sth..But i just did:)
The picture was taken by Tatyana, one day before the end of my finals..Before my multivariate exam, when i was exhausted, suffering from lack of sleep, angry to the whole entire world..and when i took a vodka shot before leaving for the exam..The note she put under this photo was: 5min. before the exam..Turkish shot glass measurement.
Now at least i dont have finals, could have been worse..But then what is the thing that will neutralize this relief? some boredom? yeah i got it enough in the past month..so now i m neutral..ok, i shut up..
Numbness is ahead, I write to defreeze myself..
Would you like some fucked-upness:)
Monday, June 05, 2006
Posted by Tugc at 7:11 PM
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I've one question;
Is it the weather in Aydın or r u reeeeaallly bored? :D
I've one question;
Is it the weather in Aydın or r u reeeeaallly bored? :D
Oy oy, gaza gelip iki kere yazmışız.:)
Hede hödö:P
>virtuoso<
Valla olabilir tabi:) Ama ar zaten bende kafadan kontaklik normal olarak..hani ben catlak ve cilginim diyorum ya, bu hani gercek olan birsey..Tabi sicak da etkiliyor:)
Tugce biz buna "aylar boyu didindim cabaladim calistim bos zamanlarimda party mode takildim da bak simdi evde mi oturuyorum bos bos" sendromu diyoruz ehehe:)) saka bir yana cidden aylar boyu hizli yasamin ardindan yaz hep istenen ama sonra "bu mudur" seklinde karsilanan bir zaman sureci oluyor, garip:)
Bir de bu yazdiklarina ek olarak genel bir gorus daha vardir, notrlemenin yanisira uzuntu mutlulugun nasi bir sey oldugunun farkina varmak icin gerekli bir sey gibi, sanki hani indirect definition
Hmm delilik seninle default geliyo yani
:D
>burcuk<
aynen oyle canim ya:) birden bir sikilma oldu..geci simdi cok daha iyi tatil:) indirect defintiion, kesinlikle dogru:)
>virtuoso<
exactly:) hani esantiyon gibi birsey:)
sikilma sikilma canim,eglen dinlen,relaxxx,bu arada ben purple the furtheri cok sevdim,shine on u gibi,artik insanlara shame on you yerine,inadina shine on you diyecegim...sevgiler sunarim micikcim,bana da iyi gelirdi su shot su an..
>sibella<
eh begendirebildiysem ne guzel:) Bu blogun adinin aslinda hep pink floyddan geldigi saniliyor, ama ben shame on you dan yola cikmistim..Su shot herkese lazim zaten:)
Yok ben relazim zaten.hersey fazla relaxliktan oluyor ya:D
i don't think i believe in this evening out of feelings, neutral balance stuff. while i do believe that both good and bad things will happen to ppl in life, i don't think it always balances out...some ppl will have good balances, some bad. I really don't know -- i like this post though, thought provoking and something for me to twirl my head around. *hugs* :)
>ryan<
you see, my blog rules..it educates, encourages brain storm:)Well i know that some people have better balances..but then again should the ones who have better balances feel sorry thinking that it is unfair for the ones who have worse balances:) ok..i have started to sound philosophical again..
hope you are having fun..hugs back..
heheheheh cilgin!!! Burcuk'un dedigi mod olmus tam vallahi..cok alem cokkkkk!!! kışa gorurum seni :) opuldun.
>zeynepcim<
diyorum ya, var bende biraz..hani bu posttaki resim ve yazi, "ah yazik kiz goruntusu de fena degilmis iste ama deli" dedirtcek cinsten:) geri opuyorum bende..notrlemis olalim:)
bak aklima geldi simdi notrleme deyince..ben bir yanaktan opulunce de digeri kiskanir diye dusunurum hep:)
What you describe as those set amounts of happiness and sadness can be a frustrating and a liberating thought at the same time - if we are sad, we can believe that we *must* have happier times at some other point to compensate. At the same time, it kind of means that we can never choose just to be happy, that bad things will always come.
If we rephrase things slightly, I think what you say is very right. I believe that because of the randomness and chance of the universe, about equally "good" and "bad" things will happen to us all - but good and bad on a "universe scale", not as in what we might think is good or is bad. It is therefore up to us to make the "bad" things not seem quite so bad to us, and the "good" things even better - and then we could live a more happy life... Needless to say how hard that would be, though ;) .
Niko,
I guess it is even harder for pessimist people like me:) or maybe i shoul take some philosophy classes at some point, right..on the other hand, as nietzsche says, the good and bad concepts evolve too, so there were not the origins of it or sth that we can define them properly..
Im just wondering where my happiness is, in feb I lost my mum to cancer and since she died I cant seem to see any sun, but then on the other hand in a way I shouldnt be so selfish to wish she was here with me because she suffered, she suffered a lot and atleast she is'nt now, but it doesnt stop me from missing her :-)
>kel<
i m really sorry for your mum.But i guess in a sense, most probably she is more relaxed and resting now..Plus, according to my neutrality claim, there are happy days waiting for you, since you alreay had the bad ones now;)
bende haftasonu sınavımı verdim senin gibi ama senin kadar kötü değildim.shotları ertesi güne bıraktım.hemen ardından kafa dağıtıcı bir maddeye başvurduğuna göre derslerin zor.derslerinde muvaffakiyetler dilerim:)
xman,
benim sinavlarim 1ay once bitti;) bu fotograflari arkadasim yeni yolladi da..o yuzden..yine de saol.
İlginç bi felsefe tabii...
Ama bana da bazen oluyor, gülmek istiyorum, ama ağlarım diye tutuyorum kendimi, halbuki içimden gülüyorum, kimi kandırıyorsam :)
İnşallah sınavların iyi geçmiştir, önemli olan o, denge menge boşver, yaşayıp gidiyoruz işte...
>tipitip<
sinavladan bekldigim basariyi alamamakla birlikte, geci daha kotuye alistirmistim kendimi ama.bursumu kaybetmeden gectim;)bu denge olayina gelince..ben mesela birgun o anin mutlulugunu yasayamiyorum, kesin yarin kotu birsey olacak bak bugun cok mutlu oldum filan diye bir takinti var..halbuki, birak yarini ani yasa dimi;) burctan geliyor galiba..sen de akrep degilmisin?
tuğçe 700 mb yi tek seferde atarken sorun çıkıyor o yüzden 100 mb lik parçalara bölüp atıyorum filmi sana attığım bölümleri mail olarak yollarım :))
Bu arada tüm akreplerde var galiba Carpe Diem :))
bulsara,
tesekkur ederim. Carpe Diem olduguna emin degilim ama bende akrebin ozellikleri var baya bi..baskalarina zarar vermek gibi bir ozelligim olmasa da, onun disindaki liderlik duygusu filan var bende;)
Aha, ben hiç böyle düşünmemiştim.
Evet canım gururluyum, mutluyum, çünkü akrepim:)
Var bizde bir gariplik, kendi kendimizi sokacağımıza başkalarını soksak ya :)
Bu blog akreplerin buluşma noktası oldu galiba:)bence birleşelim, biraraya gelip gücümüzün farkına varalım.daha çok güçlenelim ve Dünyaya hükmedelim:)
>tipitip<
ben de akrebim:) ve bundan dolayi da mutluyum. bosver, biz akrebin bu turuyuz..baskalarini uzmek yerine kendimizi uzuyoruz..belki de bu yuzden ozeliz;) ve hem yukselen bir kartali temsil ederken, hem de yerde surunen akrebi temsil ediyoruz..var mi baska iki hayvani ayni anda temsil eden burc? yok;) var mi plutonun onculk yaptigi burc? yok;)
Iste bak, ozeliz biz..yildizla ve gunes soyluyor bunu, var mi dahasi:)
>xman<
ayni anda yazmisiz:) Evet, ahanda bir akrep daha dedim zaten, ben tipitipe cevap verdikten sonra. Iste diyorum ya, bak yukarida dediklerim senin icin de gecerli..Hem var mi bizim gibi sehvetlisi, dimi:) Akrepler olarak bir grup kurmaliyiz:)asil ve lider ruhluyuz biz..aslan, koc bahane..
Hmmm... if that's true, I can expect some pretty nasty things ahead of me, considering that I had the privilege(?) of spending 2 years in heaven.
Ya Sınav!!!!!!! Öss ye 2 hafta kala o zehirden fazla varmı?
katılıyorum.diğer burçlar bizden çekiniyor zaten.hep akreplere karşı bir önyargı var.potansiyelimizden çekiniyorlar.bizler gibi olamadıklarından çekiniyorlar:)bencede grup kurmalıyız.bizler gibi asil bir özelliğin parçası olan insanlar, biraraya gelmeliyiz.ortalığın tozunu attırmalıyız:)diğerleri fasa fiso:P
>RomaN<
Well, was that heaven due to me:) just joking..I mean, i guess you havent lived pure heaven for 2 years, as much as i was with you, thats at least what i witnessed..Though, this is just my own fucked upness theory in order to explain how mental i can get sometimes and drive nuts:) dont worry;) it is all about how you interpret;) plus, last year was not that heaven for you i guess, so here you..balance is ready:) even not, i made it ready for you:)
>jade<
bak Oss de geccek bitcek, barli diskolu bir yaz onunde seni bekliyor..hersey sana kalmis birsey;) got it?
>xman<
tabi canim..ne varsa biz de var..var mi bizim gibisi?:) hehe..abartmayalim, millet noluya lon, meydani bos buldular daliyolar diye giricek lafa yakinda:)
Noluyo lon? meydanı boş buldunuz dalıyo musunuz? :D
You were right darling, its a happy day tomorrow, its a shopping day, open all the doors cos here I come ;-)
>virtuoso<
ahanda baligin biri dedi bile:)
>kel<
shopping is always relaxing..i gues it s like a therapy for us:)
Don't say what you don't mean and don't mean what you don't say.
Good luck.
Kızım ne içtin la sen..? :)))))
>RomaN<
I say what i mean..
>atonica<
vodkaaa:)
damacanadan mı içiyorsun vodkayı?
>XMAN<
eh olukca buyuk bir siseydi ama damacana da degil:)
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